Wobbles and realignment

My inner sister Ereshkigal stripped me of all my finery and hung me on a meathook for a couple of days. I’m not quite sure if I’m off just yet.

(That’s an esoteric reference to Inanna’s journey to the underground, if my first paragraph sounds bizarre. It’s a story you should take time to know.)

If I was still an employee, I would refer to my absence as Mental Health Days, or a Doona Days. Whether it was the combination of eclipse and new moon interplaying with intra-psychic factors, I’m not entirely sure.

My truth was that I had bottomed out energetically. Not burnt out, but just in need of a rest, a re-charge. So I honoured the need for withdrawal and rest, and felt in to what was stirring inside me.

I found my inner child weeping. She was feeling massively uncared for because I’m always too busy, and she was no longer willing to be fobbed off with unnecessary food treats. She wanted my attention. She demanded my attention, and was going on strike by withholding all creative energy, all sense of joy, until she got it.

The inner child is also the inner feminine. The inner child is the ebbing aspect of the inner feminine, as opposed to the more energetic empowered inner feminine. Within each end of any polarity are further, unsuspected, polarities. It’s a fractal reality. And I’ve just collapsed into one.

I’m learning, the hard way, that she can’t just be talked about and explored from an intellectual perspective. So we talked. And journaled. I have agreed to her requirements. Because my life definitely needs more fun and delight, created offline.

So, within my current situation, with where I’m at and the resources that are available immediately, I’m committing to goal-less art. Meandering, messy. Filling my void with vivid colours of jewels, golds, bronzes.

It’s time to actually use the materials I had gathered months and months ago, when I last felt the call to paint.

No, I don’t consider myself artistic. I’m starting from the veriest beginning. Youtube will be my teacher. My 11 year old niece probably knows more about art than I do.

How does this fit in with my calling as a Life Purpose Business Priestess?

Well, overall I feel that, for me, Art will be a new temple, my next level of initiation that will help me to be a more potent priestess. Art is a voice, a powerful voice of the Divine Feminine, and I am being called to channel this voice. Opening to the practice of arting is a powerful way to expand consciousness.

So I am recalibrating myself and how I show up at this time of eclipses and new moons.

These daily notes may not be daily for a while, as I focus my writing energy into more targeted expressions. I’m not entirely sure what is wanting to emerge, email-wise. Perhaps once or twice a week notes. Maybe more Priestessing memes. Maybe even images of any art I create that I don’t entirely cringe at.

So even as I still dangle on Ereshkigal’s meathook, the future is taking shape with a sparkle and a playful gleam.

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